Thirty minutes into my twelve-hour Health Care Assistant shadow shift I had to watch my HCA clinical mentor clean and cover a patient that had passed away an hour beforehand.

Whilst I only knew that she had passed due to a fall-related injury and was on end of life care, I felt a great deal of emotion watching this process. My mentor constantly showed respect, introducing herself and talking the patient through the bathing and dressing process as if she were still with us. I hope to be able to carry this respect with me as I grow through my healthcare career.

Unfortunately, my grandfather had passed away the week before. However, since he lived in a different country and the fact that I struggle with  visualizing  and found it difficult to comprehend that he was actually gone. Seeing this process, I finally realised what actually happened to my grandfather and it felt like I had gained some closure.

I wanted to create this piece to show the vibrant emotions I felt leaving the room – whilst everything was a single shade of white, except the single piece of coloured paper lying on top of the patient signalling that she was ready to be transferred to the morgue. The blue sheet contrasted with the red background implies the difference between oxygenated and deoxygenated blood. The flow of the sheet flows signifies the fluidity between states of living and deceased.I painted the lower end fading away to represent the loss of memory people face once grief has begun to pass.

As I closed the door behind me, it felt like time had stopped, as she lay there in the ultimate state of peace.