This piece was inspired by a conversation with a patient who had been hospitalized increasingly frequently in their old age. It depicts the sentiment of ‘losing yourself’ whilst in hospital. Eventually you feel as though you become synonymous with your condition. Many patients express this notion, feeling like they blend into the background, as the chameleon merges with its environment. The label on the pill bottle is anonymised to demonstrate the eventual desensitization of healthcare workers to patients as individuals with unique lives and stories.

I found it easy to empathise with both sides of this. As a patient, I understand the difficulty in maintaining a sense of self when confined to a hospital ward. Equally I understand that as a healthcare worker, you must maintain a certain emotional distance from patients, to fulfil your duty of care to them to your best abilities. Small actions, like taking time to talk to a patient about their life outside hospital or taking notice of how you can help them feel more presentable, can give back some of the individuality they lost. This was something I had the opportunity to do, as a medical student shadowing an HCA, who has the fortune of having more time to spend with each patient.

In creating this piece, I selected coloured pencil as I thought it was the best medium to help me convey the hues and detail of the chameleon. The black background symbolises everything else falling away in the face of illness – being devoid of individuality. You assimilate your disease as it begins to define you. This is symbolised by the colours of the pill bottle creeping onto the chameleon.

I also researched how a chameleon’s mood can impact their colouring. Blues and deeper greens suggest calmness; reflected in the label to acknowledge the peace medical care brings to patients. Vivid greens/yellows/oranges indicate a chameleon is stressed or feeling threatened. These emotions were pervasive on the elderly care ward, with patients requiring comprehensive, often intrusive, care, leaving them feeling vulnerable. The combination of these colours being depicted on the chameleon is representative of the conflicting emotions that arise from long-term hospitalisation.