Forget-Me-Not
Jess Chiu
A small sachet of seeds given to a mother on the ward to remember her miscarried baby.
Although death is often associated with old age or terminal illness, I was reminded of its unpredictable nature during my second hospital shift. Seeing the tiny foetus of a fifteen -week miscarried baby was a stark reminder that death can happen at the earliest stages of life. The bereavement midwife on this ward gently showed me the baby in the tiniest of coffins and explained the delicate process of what happens to babies when they are miscarried or stillborn; giving grieving parents the option of community or individual burials or cremation. Grief is never a linear process for anyone, the compassion shown by this midwife was inspiring, and the knowledge that parents are fully supported was comforting. A precious memory box is a cherished part of many bereaved parents’ journey, holding within: hand and footprint scans, a soft white blanket, a matching teddy bear to the one given to the baby, and a sachet of forget-me-not seeds.
My creative project is a mixed-media art piece of graphite and watercolour. I chose to draw the heart, acting as a vase for the delicate flowers, using pencil to create a monotone centre. The heart is representative of the once-beating heartbeat of the baby as well as the memory held within the heart of the parents. I used watercolour to paint the flowers to contrast with the monotone heart, symbolising the life the baby still holds within the family.
Despite not learning much about the parents, it was an emotional encounter seeing not only the baby but the exhaustion on both parents’ faces; a striking reminder of the importance of compassion and empathy. Creating my art piece allowed me to reflect on this memorable experience, and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to witness something so precious.
Annual Creative Prizewinner
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I really felt strong emotions to this as I feel that a death of a child that was just born would hit harder than most deaths. An occasion where a family is meant to be celebrating is instead turned into an occasion for grieving and making a difficult decision to separate with their child. The drawing showed a tremendous contrast in emotions that is both fitting and difficult to process, but it shows that life really can hit out of nowhere, and it is up to us to make the most out of it as much as possible.
This piece of artwork spoke strongly to me as the death of a new-born child is tremendous difficult as the birth becomes filled with sadness and grieving instead of celebration. With the heart being portrayed in dark colours it provokes strong emotions as in birth the heart of the child should be colourful and full of life, reminding you of how precious life is. The colourful flowers also provides a strong reminder that even though the child wasn’t part of the world for long their presence still provide colour to the world. The use of the stark contrast of colours shows how quickly life can turn from being happy and colourful to sad and dark. The use of the flowers and the heart which are both very delicate evokes strong emotions and serves as a reminder of how delicate life is.
I was really drawn to this piece, as it illustrates both the devastation of losing an unborn child, yet also the beauty of their memory through the brightly-coloured forget-me-nots. Having a miscarriage, particularly later on in a pregnancy (most miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks), must cause unimaginable grief and sadness, and the compassion shown by the midwife serves as a reminder that being a doctor is so much more than ‘healing’ or ‘treating’ patients; sometimes there is little clinically that can be done but the role of a clinician is to support patients and their families in the best way possible.
This piece of artwork drew my attention due to the contrast in losing a child with the memory that they leave behind. It is a difficult and heart-breaking thought to digest of the parents left behind having experienced the loss of a child so young that they didn’t truly get to meet. Death is usually something associated with older people and so seeing this artwork reminds you of the harsh reality of all the younger patients who pass away. For me, this reminds me that loss and grief are experienced in all different types of ways and by all people and that it is important for healthcare professionals to not only support their patients but also the patient’s family.