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The Knot

Elfrieda Power

A young man who was both an alcholic and a drug user came into the surgery during my G.P. Attachment. I found watching the consultation quite difficult and left feeling demoralized, wishing that there was something I could do. He was suffering from gastritis but for many reasons seemed to be at a very low point in his life. He had no home address, was drinking a measured amount of alcholol daily to relieve symptoms and continuing to inject. He had self-harmed a few days previously and was openly feeling very lost and depressed.

The patient was unkempt and dirty with blood on his clothes, carrying a plastic bottle. He was desperately seeking help but there wasn’t much that the G.P. could do as the drug service had refused to offer him a detox. He was feeling that he was better off dead, because he felt that his family could then move on and forget about him and he could no longer cause them any trouble.

This painting is trying to express how he feels and where he is in his life, at ‘rock-bottom’. He is the black line, tangled up in a knot, as he can’t move forward and doesn’t know how to get out of the mess he is in. Other people are the coloured lines. He influences some of them, as the knot pushes them aside, but they all carry on moving along in their lives. Some have small knots to deal with and other lines interfere or accompany them but they keep going. The Dr. is the blue line, following the pattern of the knot. He is with the knot at all times and providing support but cannot intervene or make everything better for the individual, that is up to the patient to do.

The creative proces allowed me to project my feelings about meeting this patient into painting, allowing me to understand why I felt the way I did and not to feel so frustrated about it.

Whole Person Care – Year One