I had never seen a dead body in real life before coming to Bristol. On TV I generally looked away but then I’m chronically squeamish, perhaps it was a kind of morbid curiosity that attracted me to medicine in the first place. Of course I was shown around the DR on open days, but only the room and not the dissections. At the beginning of term it transpired I was in the last group to do anatomy practicals. I spoke to my friends about what it was like to see the bodies but none seemed too concerned, I didn’t want them to think me slightly odd for asking too much.

So I got to the vet school, put on my white coat, noting that it smelt slightly similar to my euthymol toothpaste. Passing the steel trolleys covered in sheets of grubby white plastic, I wondered what the buckets underneath were collecting. I had to sit with my back facing our body, which felt slightly rude. I was very aware of the presence of all the bodies, especially the one less than a foot behind me. Most groups were in fact sitting round their bodies, which personally I find more relaxing. When the body was finally revealed, we did not have to look at the face or anything below the waist. It was not very human-like, but the way our demonstrator was using the face as a hand rest made me uncomfortable. The demonstrator also insisted on passing around organs, luckily a fellow student saw the look of horror on my face and took the lung before I had to hold it. As it passed under my nose, I felt my eyes sting then water from the formaldehyde.

Over the next few weeks were subtly introduced to more and more intimate parts of the body, and more gruesome specimens were strategically left lying around. Each week I always thought I would be comfortable, but it seemed just enough new specimens were left out each week, resulting in being vegetarian on Fridays. By the end of last term, I thought I was eventually getting used to the stench and the fluids and the intimacy, but in the exam a body was placed in the corner, placing a dead person between me and everyone else whom I am used to having in the room with me, which I found very intimidating. After another term, I can’t say I enjoy anatomy, and I am still shocked occasionally by the casual attitude of staff and fellow students, however I am working towards changing my view of our body (‘Jeffery’) to simply a cadaver.