This creative piece has been based upon my conversation with a drug addict in his mid-fifties, Mr Dean. For this patient it has been a truly lifelong addiction which devoured him from his early twenties. When I asked Mr Dean what he saw when he looked in the mirror every morning he replied “A life that has not been lived”. My choice of imagery aims to reflect this with the cracked mirror being a metaphor for a wasted life that has been broken by the use of heroin for more than twenty years. The shards of mirror do not fit, with gaping gaps between them to show how his life has no consistency and that there are so many life ambitions not fulfilled. The words that have been scratched between the shards of glass are all of the feelings and experiences which led to Mr Dean’s life being reduced from one that was positive with ambitions to be fulfilled, to one that had little meaning and ultimately ended in Mr Dean losing so much. Two examples which stand out are the £30,000 that he spent before moving to theft to cover his addiction, and the rejection of his parents help when he needed them most. The syringe and substance coming out of it has covered the mirror and aims to symbolise the toxic effect of substance abuse taking over Mr Dean’s life. The design is sparse and empty with bleak colours and only sharp edges to show Mr Deans’ life as incomplete and uncomfortable, with much pain throughout the years.

My inclusion of a frame that is still whole was chosen after Mr Dean talked about how he wants to ‘make good a bad situation’. The frame has not yet been broken which means that if he can rearrange the mirror shards and fit them back together (as a representation of his life being fitted together coherently) then he will be able to cover up the past and move on to the future which can be both enjoyable and prosperous.

What I found most educational about Mr Dean and his addiction to heroin is that he did not fit the stereotype that I had created in my own mind. If I had witnessed him on the street I would never have guessed what turmoil there was in his life. He also talked in a lackadaisical way about how he would just have some cocaine like it was a pint of beer and think nothing of it – I have always considered cocaine to be a deadly drug with associated huge consequences. It also amazed me that he would smoke heroin with his partner after his children went to bed each night and in the toilets at work during his lunch break – showing just how integral it became to his life. It appeared to just be part of every day life and that there would be no consequences associated with the habit. Mr Dean talked of how he wants to be clean but has relapsed back to drugs on occasions. He accepted that there is no easy way to get back to normality.