Flowering Sorrow
Meg Swain
While the daughter was telling me about her mother’s earlier life, her father sat quietly holding his wife’s hand and it appeared that he barely realised that there was anyone else in the room. After a while he began to open up more and talk about his wife. He mentioned that it had been eight years since her diagnosis and that he had an overwhelming feeling that he was running out of time with her. He described how he felt emotionally conflicted by this because, although they had been married for forty-three years, he desperately wanted more time with her. He felt that even though she was not the same person anymore, he could sometimes see the woman that he married in her eyes and that those brief seconds were what he lived for. He stated that part of him felt selfish for wanting longer with her as he also felt that the beautiful soul of who she once was, had been trapped by this disease and should be free to move on. He felt that he owed it to the bright and amazing woman that he loved to want this for her. He stated that, although he knew he would see her again, he just didn’t feel ready for the time he would have to endure without her, before they would once again be reunited.
It was the husband’s comment about the woman he loved being trapped within the disease that inspired this piece. I chose a blue skin colour to emphasise the deep sorrow that a disease like this causes family and close friends also saddened by the living loss of their familiar companion or loved-one. The blue background is meant to show that she was surrounded by ‘blue’ emotions of the people she loved, no matter how hard they tried to hide it.
I decided to take the patient’s love of gardening and flowers that the daughter had spoken about, together with the beautiful creative woman that her husband described and use this as a symbol for who this patient was at her core. I used the symbol of flowers coming from the head as Alzheimer’s is a disease of the brain. The blooming flowers are meant to signify the freedom and release of the patient’s soul from the imprisonment of this disease.
Highly Commended for the annual Creative Prize
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This creative work caught my attention because of how simply it has conveyed such strong emotions such sadness, joy and hope. The sadness is reflected through the blue colour throughout the piece, the blue outside is how you have viewed the relatives. Despite trying hard to stay positive are still showing feelings of loss and sadness. The fact that it is a block colour of blue and it is very dull could also show how they are no longer struggling to cope with the woman’s illness progressing and that they have come to a conclusion of letting her go.
The blue in herself could show how the family have viewed her as she is not what they remember her to be like, as they are seeing her personality change they are seeing her as lost. However she has shades of blue and white which are quite bright and this could portray how she sees herself, that despite her loosing herself she is not completely a different person and she has still some parts of her that is still fully who she used to be.
I also thought it was interesting to see the hand over her neck to show how she was physically trapped by this disease but also that her end finger is not wrapped around the neck but is free, which showed to me that she has not fully been controlled by this disease that she has got small amount of freedom to express herself. Then the flowers of course show us the parts of her that have remained, it makes me feel like she was a bright and beautiful person. That when she has her moments its when her family our most joyful about her coming back for a short time and hopeful that she can change because of how bright they can be.
Finally, the pose that she is in looks very strong and fierce it shows me that despite everything she is going through she is still strong even though everyone else thinks she has changed, she is holding on and battling though with strength and great poise. To me she is still a strong person and is working hard to hold on to her memories and stay connected to not only her family but herself.