This poem is part of what inspired my first (and currently only) experience in the dissection room which was under COVID-19 restrictions. I ended up focusing on how unprepared I felt for the intensity of experience of seeing the various parts of the human specimens laid out like they were. I had no previous experience with cadavers going into the lab – so seeing the various sections and parts preserved was an intense experience and something that I wanted to reflect on, this poem being part of that. I followed a Miltonic sonnet form with one key alternation, I interspersed it with stream of consciousnesses interjections in the first stanza. I liked the sonnet form and wanted to challenge myself to write to a slighter longer form than I usually use with more structure to rhyming and syllables. The interjection was something I wanted to include to represent the fast, frantic and often distressing thoughts I was having while trying to examine the specimens that were in the lab. This is in contrast to the slow and thoughtful directions relayed in the words of a student in the first stanza which make use of a long sentences and enjambement to emphasise the mundanity of the preparation we were given, with very little in the way of direct communication that maybe it would be okay if we felt initially overwhelmed by what we saw. They did not appear in the second stanza as I wanted that to be representative more of what it feels like after you first overcome the overwhelming experience and then have to keep it at bay while you work.

 I also wanted to include reference to the COVID-19 pandemic’s effect on the experience I had. While I was in there, the PPE that were required to wear made the whole experience a whole lot more awkward and clumsy. This only heightened the feelings of awkwardness and intensity I felt while in the lab. I already felt awkward enough trying to do my best to handle the specimens with care and use them for my learning, but having to do that with a mask and a visor that kept slipping just magnified that feeling for me. It also reduced the amount of time we could spend with the specimens over the term, so we had little time to acclimatise to the lab conditions, encouraged to make the most of the time we had.

Overall, I thought think this piece represents the experience of the headspace I was in during the time I was in the lab, what was going through my mind and how that affected me.