on show in this place
backs against the wall
stiff upper lip
don’t let your emotions
start to slip
if the floodgates start to open
you know they won’t stop
we must stick together
before we go over the top
let’s talk about the weather
it really looks like a nice day
but don’t look too far ahead
storm clouds could be gathering
inside your head
I can’t stand next to you or you or you
and invade your space
the subject you really want to talk about
it is written all over your face
all the words fly around
we are just wasting time
but that’s just what they are
so, we can slowly move up
to the front line
when our names are called
no words left to say
we are going over the top
to find out
if it really is a sunny day
© IWM Art.IWM ART 3920
The waiting room or the outpatients in a cancer hospital are not like any other hospital. There is only one reason people are there, just saying the word is enough to frighten most people, but attending a cancer hospital over months and years can really wear you down. I wrote this poem hoping to convey how hard it can be for people to show how they really feel, in a room filled with fear, anxiety, stress, hopes, doubts and wishes, while waiting for good news or bad.
Arts contributor to the Living Alone with Cancer Experience research led by Cardiff University School of Healthcare 2016-2018.
Mal was also a patient and public involvement advisor throughout this project – funded by Tenovus Cancer Care:
http://blogs.cardiff.ac.uk/cancerservicesresearch/art/
I find this piece very moving and thought provoking. The writer really manages to encapsulate the stress, anxiety and worry about whether it will be good or bad news whilst in the waiting room of a cancer hospital through their likening of the experience of waiting being like that of soldiers on the frontline. I really like this comparison because I think it expresses the anticipation, fear, nerves and discomfort the patient is going through in an effective way. They are in unknown territory, preparing to go over the front line and ready to fight whatever is coming their way. They put on a brave face, scared to show emotion because if the “floodgates” open they fear they may never stop. The line “we must stick together” to me seems like they also want to do this because they want to be strong for others in the waiting room as well.
This piece was quite thought provoking to me and I find that this author was able to draw on his past experiences at a cancer waiting room to encapsulate the feelings everyone would have felt if they were in one. Throughout the poem, they compared waiting in at the cancer hospital waiting room to climbing up a hill with phrases such as “before we go over the top” etc. Therefore you could draw parallels from waiting in a cancer hospital to a long arduous journey up a hill or mountain and only at the summit/peak would you get to know what lies in front of you. I believe the first phrase “it is hard to find love on show in the place” encapsulates how distressed a person would be in the waiting room and shines a spotlight on to the lack of warmth/reassurance they would experience. The author also portrays this sense of impending doom someone would feel with the phrase but “don’t look too far ahead storm clouds could be gathering” this just goes to show that everyone is afraid of moving up in the line and the thought of their name being called out would cause them a lot of stress. Not only do they compare the waiting room to climbing up a mountain but they also compare it to a or war or more specifically soldiers in a war. This is further reinforced with the picture chosen, by the author, to accompany the poem. The author implies that everyone there has put on a brave face so that the “floodgates” don’t open and with the phrase “we must stick together” everyone seems to be bound together at this one moment in time, possibly giving people a tiny glimpse of courage knowing that they are not alone. The picture chosen has very little bright colours involved, highlighting how the people were only focusing on one thought, in the waiting room. The 5 soldiers in the picture also seem to be looking out onto the vast horizons and sky. Possibly adding to the fact that cancer is a massive disease to conquer with so few people.
Overall I think the author has done a great job of showing us the stress and discomfort one would face in a cancer hospital waiting room