Reflecting on Grief
Anonymous
Using a mixture of media, I have created a collage inspired by reflections from my first clinical placement at university. This was a difficult experience that I remember clearly.
Two weeks prior to coming to university my dad died unexpectedly after having a heart attack. Naturally, this meant that I found it distressing to later sit through a consultation with a patient with heart disease, especially as this was my first placement at university. During the consultation the GP asked me if I had any questions for the patient, to which I shook my head; if I had opened my mouth I felt as though I would have burst into tears. Instead, I stayed composed and can already look back on this moment and see how far I’ve come.
There are a few different themes and emotions that I have tried to explore through this piece, from mortality, sadness, and discomfort, to the sterile and often impersonal clinical environment. Using collage enabled me to bring inspiration from a number of areas, which I also feel adds a sense of ambiguity to the piece. I like the fact that using snippets from a fictional book adds some explicit emotions on top of those that are implied, for example through the chaotic layout and use of dark colours.
Not only did I take inspiration from personal experience, but I also considered the patient from that first clinical encounter. Aside from having heart disease he also had several other serious medical conditions and the GP was doing investigations due to the possibility of cancer. Living with multiple comorbidities has a massive impact both on your life and view of your own health; the experience of disease and
healthcare is often overwhelming and stressful (not to mention having six medical students sat around you!)
I really enjoyed creating this piece as it has encouraged me to reflect on my journey so far, both throughout my first year of medical school and, I suppose, through grief. This can be a difficult topic to approach, but I feel that looking introspectively is really important. On starting medical school, I did not expect to have to deal with this kind of experience quite so soon but I’m really glad that I have. The more experience you get the easier it becomes to deal with the emotional effect that seeing patients can have on you. This is an aspect of medicine that you simply cannot learn from a textbook.
Creative Assignment Prize-winner, 2019 – 2020
This is an amazing piece and thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience. It made me reflect on my friend who also lost her Dad the same way a few months before we would have started University and how difficult that time was for her. I also thought it was really good to consider the emotional impact patients can have on you as I haven’t personally encountered this yet but I know I will.
I am personally drawn to this art piece as I can highly relate to it having experienced the exact same loss. I think it’s an amazing portrayal of the chaos associated with death and grief, from the use of dark, dingy colours to the latex glove indicating the clinical environment surrounding families at these times. I like how it brings into context the patients emotions as well as the professional behaviours expected of doctors, even in times when this is proving difficult to them. It has made me feel comforted on my worries of being in a situation similar in later consultations and it’s nice to know that the artist is able to now reflect and recognise their improvements.
I was immediately drawn to this intriguing piece of art. The juxtaposition of the sterile, impersonal clinical aspects shown through the glove, to the emotional chaos that surrounds it, is a reminder of the harsh reality many patients experience as a result of being diagnosed with serious medical conditions. A sense of poignancy is primarily established through more obvious aspects such the colour palette, but is then further explored through the words that surround the worn out glove. The worn out, damaged nature of the glove itself could be a representation of how clinical environments have been similarly wearing away at the patient’s happiness. This piece gives an important insight into how clinical environments can be distressing and overwhelming to those who are already facing a whirlwind of difficult emotions because of their medical conditions.
Firstly, I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss, grief is a painful long process which fails to get easier. I can relate to this artwork as my 17-year-old sister died of meningococcal septicaemia when I was 14, it was a sudden and unexpected death. It is inevitable that I am going to encounter a patient of a similar age with meningitis and or septicaemia during my time as a medical student or when I am a doctor, and I truly dread this day. However, I found comfort in your artwork as it showed me that if I feel upset in the moment, it’s okay to be quiet as it will be a difficult time, where anyone would struggle to act like they’re okay. It was nice to read that you are able to look back on this encounter and see how far you’ve come; I hope in the future I can do the same.
I think this artist has done a really great job of putting the feeling of grief into a piece of art. I’m not sure if it was intentional, but the background made me think of space. This was interesting to me because the feeling of being lost or secluded can be a huge part of dealing with emotions from bereavement, especially at a young age. To me, this piece of art, while specific to a clinical environment, will resonate with many people who have experienced a similar loss.
Thank you for creating this piece of art it helped me to reflect on my own experiences as I lost my father 6 months before coming to university. I appreciated your vulnerability in discussing your GP experiences and the importance of being quiet when you need to be. In terms of the art piece it is was very striking and I immediately understood the darkness of grief through it. I thought the glove was a very clever choice. It made me consider the impersonal clinical consultations some patients and relatives experience. However it also made me think about the importance of acting professionally as a doctor and not becoming too personally involved. This can help to protect your own mental health, especially if the issue is close to home. It is so important that we talk about grief and this artwork is a great conversation starter
The use of the contrast between the darkness of the clinical aspect of the piece and the brighter, emotional words shows the difficulty of separating the personal and professional. The outline of a person on the glove reminds us that a patient is at the centre of every consultation but also that we carry our personal experiences with us into our placements. The background reminds me of space, with the flecks of paint showing stars, showing us that we are all fallible and small within the universe
I found this art work and the story behind it really inspiring as it helped me to reflect on my own experiences especially through the covid pandemic. It is reassuring to know that some consultations are more difficult to deal with due to personal experiences and this is shown through the contrast of the dark colours used and the words conveying emotion. I particularly liked how this work shows the personal and professional aspects of death and grief of patients and how it impacts doctors. It reminds me of the patient-centred environment but the importance of not getting emotionally involved.
I appreciate you sharing such a personal experience. This piece immediately drew my attention due to the vulnerability of the art – the use of deep tones juxtaposing the snippets of speech captures grief in such a heartbreaking way : being consumed by feelings of despair whilst people around you try to help you cope. The use of the darkened glove reflects the reality of facing challenges as someone in a medical setting, and being able to truly empathise with particular situations like you described, and how difficult it is. When you described being quiet when faced with a difficult situation I think that served as a reminder that grief never goes away, and when you mentioned you’ve come so far it shows how you just find better coping mechanisms to deal with it. The specks of white littered throughout, as well as the deep red colour of the heart contrast significantly with the loneliness portrayed by the dark palette throughout, which reflects how profound the feeling is regardless of your other emotions. However, I also interpreted it as a sense of hope; no matter how dire and overwhelming it is, life has more to offer, despite how consuming grief is.