My mind is not my own
Rebecca Wood
Directly after his stroke, Mr Barnes suffered a degree of cognitive loss. His description of the experience was compelling. He articulated the sensation of being confused and separate from the real world, knowing that his mind was playing tricks on him, but being powerless to stop it. He vividly described how he found it difficult to orientate himself, slipping constantly between reality and dreams and emphasised that his brain did not feel like his own and that his emotions were heightened and uncontrolled. He would look at his walls and see calligraphic patterns that were not there, or turn to see a vision of a woman in a red dress by his side. He found that time did not move in a linear way but skipped or slowed.
I have tried to capture Mr Barnes’ experience of cognitive disturbance after the stroke within a short animation, using his own words amongst the images. The layers of transparent paper and blurred, unfocused illustrations intimate the haze separating Mr Barns from the real world, preventing him recognising common things or connecting with his environment. The disjointed, skipping of the music and images references the way that time moved strangely within his mind. This film aims to give the audience a direct sense and understanding of the experience he shared – allowing an insight into the subjective experience of his stroke as opposed to the outward signs and symptoms.
GP Attachment, Year One 2013
This is very creative and the symbolism behind the short animation is definitely interesting. The short film itself is captivating and it clearly represented Mr Barnes experience.
The piece is an enthralling animation that uses still images and bring them to life in a moving film. It directly portrays and communicates the experiences Mr Barnes went through. I specifically commend the use of the repeated static clock images to show distortion in time and space and therefore reality. Very well done.
I immediately saw the state of confusion and loss of direction when watching this video. The way time is shown to move erratically and the portrayal of a world shifting in and out of clarity was very clever. The music is brilliantly chosen too; reminded me of the Taxi Driver theme and the similar disturbance that goes on inside the head of De Niro’s character.
A creative piece of work where the disorienting nature of the video captures the same confusion experienced by Mr Barnes. The rewinding, speeding up and disappearance of the clock symbolises the loss of control of Mr Barnes, where he no longer experiences time linearly but is at the mercy of the wanderings of his brain.
Very closely observed and technically accomplished bit of work Rebecca – an inspiration. Thanks!