A Real Person Too
Edward Toll
All down my arm, it looks a sight.
Three days it’s been, like burning hell,
And when I move, I scream and yell.
But will it stop, but will it clear?
The pain keeps building, and makes me fear!
I cannot sleep, I won’t go out,
Should see a doctor, there’s no doubt.
And so I arrive, although it’s late,
Don’t want my arm to be my fate.
But when I ask, I see their disgust,
I know they don’t care, I know they mistrust.
Not just the staff, the patients too:
“He’s a nasty man,”- they think it’s true.
But no I sit, and wait and wait,
And all the time, regarded with hate.
I check the clock, a quarter to four,
I want to walk out through the door.
Another hit, that would be nice,
But with this arm, I’m thinking twice.
So then I’m seen, the staff judge fast,
No wonder I was waiting until last!
I try to say that this is serious,
My pain is making me delirious!
She looks at me, her eyes are mean,
“He just wants some free morphine!”
I plead with her, but it’s no good,
I’m a drug addict, so misunderstood.
Sometimes I wish that they could see,
It isn’t easy being me.
My leg isn’t broken, I don’t have the flu,
But can’t I be treated like a real person too?
Truth so beautifully written.
I think this perfectly describes the misconceptions and prejudices many people face in a health care system. It outlines that some health care professionals are very closed when it comes to the meaning of a disease, and how often a mental illness isn’t seen as treatable – or it’s seen as a choice.
This poem highlights how prevalent and hurtful stigmas around addiction are, and how important it is for any clinician to treat all patients with respect and care, and as the poem states, as a ‘real person’.
This incites a lot of thought into what clinicians define as “disease”, and how some suffering is met with sympathy and others are met with scorn. The intimate bond between physical and mental health has no doubt been brewing for a long time, but it is poems like these that really highlight how clinicians need to look at the entire person before seeing a disease or a stigma. We preach impartiality but clinicians are still people and therefore prone to bias like any other human being. Removing that judgement can help us become better people as well as better doctors.
I think this is an exceptional piece of work on the stigma around addiction and how the disease is treated in a clinical environment, as opposed to other conditions such as cancer. It speaks of how clinicians are reluctant to treat the protagonist and aren’t taking their suffering seriously. You can infer this is because the pain is seen as something which is self-inflicted, and therefore in less urgent need of being treated than someone with, for example, a broken leg. This is highlights the resentment many healthcare professionals have towards substance abuse. This, at it’s root, is due to the idea that falling victim to the disease is a sign of personal choice and defect of character, thus meaning those who do so are less deserving of care than individuals who are seen to have ‘no choice’ in their affliction, such as someone in need of a kidney transplant. Even the name of the poem, ‘a real person too’ tells of the struggles an addict has to be recognised and respected as a member of society, and how they are often treated ‘less than’- both in the lay world and clinical settings.
This poem provides a rhythmic narration of an addict’s struggle with addiction and his experience of being disregarded by the society that surrounds him. It raises an interesting issue in our collective perception of addiction as a wholly self inflicted ailment, when often it stems from a place of innocent entrapment, escalating to an uncontrollable pathology of reliance. The narrator is in dire need of assistance from the establishment that preaches neutrality in its care deliverance, but yet we know, and experience in this poem, that this is not the reality and that bias towards addiction as something that is not a disease exists.
The poem gives an interesting reflection from the perspective of a patient around the stigma they feel about their condition and barriers to accessing treatment. These are displayed through rhyming of pairs of rows which gives the piece a voice almost like the internal monologue inside your head which enables you to really appreciate the stream of thoughts the narrative must have in this situation. Additionally to this, the poem effectively highlights the importance of non-judgemental care as well as some of the barriers that may be faced by some individuals in accessing care. I really found it to make me think about things.