Emmanuel – A Gift, Too Soon
Professor Gordon Stirrat
Poetry
I see not; yet I know I am
I hear but cannot comprehend
My breath is given and not my own
No noise can pass my lips in joy or pain
But I am me – Emmanuel.
I hear but cannot comprehend
My breath is given and not my own
No noise can pass my lips in joy or pain
But I am me – Emmanuel.
My mother’s milk which succours me I taste not
These loving hands which touch me – they linger not
The spirit within me is the slightest breath
A bud which blossoms in the cold mid-winter
Still I am me – Emmanuel.
The promise is not for long
The place prepared for me is not here
I am too frail to fight this flight
But courage for another comes from me
Yes I am me – Emmanuel.
One of two poems on the website written when I was a consultant obstetrician. I cared for many women who were at high risk of adverse outcome and both poems followed the death of newborn babies. The emotional impact on me of their deaths meant that I had to express my loss which, of course, could not still compare with that of the mothers and fathers.
Emmanuel’s mother went on to have two children under my care and they are both alive and well. I still hear from the parents every Christmas.
I find this incredibly moving giving a different take on stillbirth and neonatal death. The child who voices the poem cannot experience what most newborns normally do giving a tone to the piece that extends the emotion to all involved including the reading. A very thought provoking piece.