False Hope
Carl Barker
He had been working the past few weekends and this was the first time he had seen her since finding out she had cancer, that she was dying. The doctors had told them that she may have as little as three months to live, six at the most. His friends had tried to reassure him by saying doctors can be wrong and she could live for a lot longer than 6 months. He had hoped that this would be true for his nana. He wanted a chance to show her how much she meant to him before it was too late. He wanted her to know she was loved before she was gone.
He sat there looking at her, reminiscing about all the times he had visited her in the past. She had always been a strong, independent, straight-talking woman who seemed hard-hearted to some, but always had her ways of letting us know how much she cared.
She was smiling and seemed quite happy, but he could sense that she wasn’t herself – there was confusion and fear in her eyes. He talked to her, desperately trying to keep it as normal and relaxed a conversation as always – this was difficult for him. Her hearing had rapidly deteriorated, but the things he wanted to say to her couldn’t be carelessly shouted at her. Before he left, he told her he loved her – she had to know – but she didn’t reply, she hadn’t heard.
This was the last time he ever saw her; she died during the night later that week. His friends were right that doctors could be wrong.
It is therefore important for doctors to be as truthful as possible and refrain from giving false hope. Similarly, it is also important to acknowledge that doctors can simply be wrong and that I, as a doctor, will be wrong.
I found this this piece to be an incredibly accurate description of the all feelings you have when you know that you’re running out of time with someone. It’s not just the physical things that you notice about them, it’s the sense that the person who is sitting right in front of you has been gradually pulled away until they’re nearly gone and it’s all the words that you want to say to them that just sitting on the tip of your tongue until all the comes out is ‘I love you’.
The idea that prognosis is telling a community, not just a person has been presented beautifully and when combined with the sense that it’s okay for a doctor to be wrong about a patient’s prognosis shows the level of understanding the author has.
I found this piece of art to be really poignant and was fascinated by the bundle of emotions it is able to encapsulate in its short passage of words. I think it describes really well the concept of not knowing how much time you have left with those you love, and not knowing if they know how much they matter to you. The piece also carries an important message about the weight of the words of healthcare professionals when it comes to prognosis, and the knock on effects these can have for the person, their family, and their friends. It shows how when doctors treat a patient, they are also having a profound impact on so many more people around the person they are caring for.
This piece of art really touched me. I was first captivated by the photograph which seems to convey so much feeling in such a simple and pure way. The prose also reflected my own experiences of someone passing away. There is such a change in your perception of a person. You can’t help but remember them in life- as they once were- physically and mentally, only to then feel unable to reconcile that memory with what circumstance obliges you to experience in the present. The prose conveys this same feeling to me.
This prose conveys a plethora of messages such the sense of urgency to tell your loved ones how you feel about them, how grateful you are to them and to reminisce all the memories that you have had together. Another important message is when you’ve known a person for a really long time and you begin to notice a drastic change in their behaviour it is as if that that person is already gone before they’ve physically left. To conclude, death doesn’t just have an affect on one person it affects a whole community of people and it is vital that we understand that doctors don’t know everything and that they can be wrong.
I found the accompanying story very insightful into how hard it is to approach more serious conversations with family members and feeling sad if you cannot broach these topics when you are aware that there is a short time for you to be able to do so. The black and white image really highlights the weight of this feeling in my opinion.
This piece really hit me. Just thinking about if that was grandparents and I was running out of time to spend with them, I would be devastated. There’s always so much you want to say but are unable to (ie from it not being the right timing, language barriers etc) and it just is really upsetting. The fact that the grandson could see his nana deteriorating slowly but is unable to do much about it also is upsetting – being stuck in a position of being unable to do anything whilst seeing someone in pain.
The piece really stood out, because of the simple yet deep wording it has. I think it is something that a lot of people can resonate with. We’ve all been in positions where we’d wish we would have said more or spoken up about something. Whether it be – sharing your feelings or defending the person you knew was being done wrong. The doctor being wrong in the opposite way you’d hope (so his nana dying before the 3 months, instead of after 6 months) perfectly conveys that you should say things you want while you can as time is not guaranteed in life.
This particularly artwork attracted me because of the image used and how I could relate to wanting to say things but not being able to for different reasons. However, after reading the piece of writing I was more intrigued in it than the picture itself. The student was able to display the emotions of a relative of the deceased so clearly. Reading this made me recall of a relative of mine that passed away and I felt as if I was the one speaking in the writing.
Although this is a very simple picture. To the viewer is speaks volumes.
It could mean many different things to many people. It could be depression to someone, social anxiety etc. However for the individual it was from a place of grief. He was learning and processing that he’s going to lose someone so close to him, that he’s known all his life. To then come to terms with that and accepting he only has three months is difficult enough. He then has to leave without his nana hearing that he loved her. Little did he know it would be the last time he was going to see her.
It shows the importance of explaining things and not giving false hope to families. This is because it not only effects the patient but everyone important around them. It is not just the patients future but their families too.
Within this piece of prose, the concept that what a doctor communicates with their patient can have a resounding effect on a large community and not just the patient themselves really resonated with me. The importance of a prognosis should not be understated. Within the passage the doctors’ prognosis was wrong, this helps show that there are times when doctors make mistakes as they themselves are human, and making these mistakes is a challenge I will have to overcome in the future. Another angle of this passage that I found interesting is how “He” had missed his last few visits due to work, however, if he had known that they would have been his last few I am sure he would have made it work. This shows how we often value the wrong things and don’t realise what or who we had until they’re gone.
This art presented a strong message of the importance of the doctor’s words on not only for the patient, but the connections that the patients have. It emphasises how it is important not to provide false hope to patients as this information could be spread to their loved ones and may feel sudden negative emotions if the death of the patient is not how the doctor stated. It tells us that the idea of the prognosis is for patients to have a guide of how their life may be like but not expected to be accurate. Overall, it is important that doctors understand the weight of their own words on others and be able to allow patients to understand that their prognosis won’t be very accurate as their maybe changes to patients’ diet and lifestyle.
Through an emotive comparison of the writer’s interactions with their Nana before and after her diagnosis, the piece highlights the massive extent of anxiety and distress that sickness causes, not only to the patient, but also to their family and loved ones. I think that the final sentence perfectly conveys the main subject of the piece: the death of a loved one will come as a shock. It displays how there will always be things you wish that you’d said to them, or done with them, therefore we should cherish our time with one another whilst we can.