I didn’t want her to come with me,

I wanted to come alone.

Why can’t she give me some space?

Just a moment to myself.

It’s started.

The talking, the discussing.

Not even through the door and words are flying,

But none of the words are my own.

My mother and the doctor talk forever,

My problems but not my voice.

Making assumptions and speculating,

Getting it wrong every time.

The words start to become alien to me,

Until I lose all comprehension.

Their voices like four walls surrounding me,

Trapped in a cell of their words.

What’s this – A lull in the conversation?

A weakness appears in the wall.

I must take this chance to escape,

Too nervous to look up I slowly begin…

Too late. Interrupted. Stopped short

The door slams firmly shut,

I won’t bother speaking again,

No escape possible now.

I draw back into myself and retreat,

Curl up into a tight ball.

I have surrendered yet again,

For there’s no point fighting anymore.