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New Glasses

Anonymous

Prose
Picture the scene. It is late afternoon and old sunlight glows faintly behind greyish floral curtains, bringing a faint patina of brightness to an otherwise dark and chilly room. The room is large, and darkness hides in crevices, where shadows congeal and furniture wraiths lie over one another like layers of black silk. Where the sunlight’s fuzzy brightness touches the walls and door, the room becomes lilac-grey; but precious little warmth enters with the twilight beams. In the centre of the room there is a single bed; the eiderdown matching the curtains with its dusty, flowery theme,

There is an old woman lying in the bed, her regular breathing lifts the eiderdown from the delicate body, and lowers it once again around her sleeping form. Her eyes are closed, and she breathes heavily and murmurs in her sleep. Little tics of pain flicker across her forehead; she sighs in her sleep, and a small hand twitches beneath the counterpane. The woman is ill; she ‘presents with breast, kidney and bony metastases.’* Death, when it comes will be a relief. Now, she lives in a twilight zone; pill-taking, bed-changing, morphine induced hypnotic states, which render loved ones blurred and forgettable, after time, and soothe the dreamer into a painless void.

A man enters the room. He too is old, and although tall, is now somewhat bent and thin with age. Liver spots lurk beneath the surprisingly thick white hair; useless loops of flesh hang from once brawny arms, atrophied into sinewy twigs. A smug expression alights on his face as he surveys the sleeper; she, lost in her drugged and dreamy world, smiles in her sleep, then moans at the little pain that shoots across her brow. The man bends down to the sleeping woman, gently taking her by the shoulder as he does so. he shakes her from her sleep;

“Joan, Joan.”

She stirs, and opens her eyes a little.

“What?…Oh yes Ian?”

“Joan… I just thought i’d tell you. I got the money back for your new glasses. You won’t really be needing them now, will you?”

I wrote this piece, partly out of selfishness and curiosity, but also because I believe it is relevant. The people in this piece were my grandparents; the old woman, my grandmother, is now dead. The selfishness and curiosity in writing this piece were my attempt to judge my perception of the situation. My piece is about emotional abuse; while my grandmother was dying, many similar events occurred. I have often wondered since if I was right, or justified in feeling as horrified as I was about this event. The reaction of the Whole Person Care group led me to believe I was justified in my horror and disgust. I believe my selfishness, therefore, was in making them hear this story.

My grandmother’s death taught me that ‘death’ and ‘dying’ are two completely different events. I now realise for the first time that holistic care, such as palliative care is just as important as curative medicine. In my piece, I believe I have highlighted an incident where holistic care was important, but was found lacking. The treatment of a dying person as a non-person or dead person is unforgivably cruel.

Whole Person Care, Year One