Writing a poem gave me a very different perspective on the illness that my father suffers from. Instead of contemplating it purely emotionally, the poem allowed me to think creatively but also to detach myself from the situation, giving me more confidence to share my feelings.

My father was diagnosed with a critical illness several years ago, and I had very little understanding of it. He has an auto-immune disorder, which was left undetected for some time, resulting in multiple organ failure and the associated mental problems. The second stanza tells of the illness as it spread. The symptoms were slow to arise but appeared initially with circulatory damage; hence the snake-like structures as the capillaries degenerated. ‘Pure as gold’ refers to the perfect working order of organs as they were before the disease. The ‘presence’ implies that my father was still there physically, but his mental and physical demons or ‘Devil’ had taken him away. He is a doctor (‘healing man’) and as a result, found the anxiety of patient status particularly difficult. I have referred to the ‘god-like’ images as I had always idolised him and been immensely proud of him as my perfect best friend. Now, he is in ‘remission’ but still tries to ‘shut out’ the bad times. For all of us, the only way of keeping sane is to keep our darkest memories in ‘a box in the back of the mind’, and only use them when necessary. Pandora’s Box seemed to be the most appropriate description as it is told to have contained evils that were to be released on mankind such as ills, toils and sickness. Finally. hope was celebrated, and this very much reflects the situation that I find myself in now. It is difficult to remember the past, but I have come to medical school with the hope of benefiting my patients and their families as one very special Doctor did for mine.